High FIVES: To the five elements of taste

After a frenzy day of shopping right before the Blizzard of 2010, as I stowed away the groceries in the fridge, it struck me that I had subconsciously planned my activity for the next 5 days and shopped accordingly

I kinda tied my hands
Naaw! bound my tongue
I had kidnapped it

We were going to be snowed in
There was just a minimum snacks, enough for the young daughter who will be at home.
I had bought cucumbers, bell peppers and an assortment of veggies
Piled on raw peanuts to the list.
In went some soymilk.
No snacks for my better half. He got a dozen eggs, bread and cheese.

The previous week I had (over)indulged in Ledo's Veggie Pizza at work
and the following day, an Indian buffet for lunch

Not only did I feel guilty (which happens after every indulgence)
but something else was happening within me
And I let that 'something' to 'happen'

And something new happened too
I listened to myself
I allowed myself the liberty to listen to the guilt, the sadness, the pain
I allowed myself to feel joy, happiness, peace and innocence

From now onwards I can live in the memory of the taste
Until the memory is no longer required
From now onwards I can live to make-up to the guilt I feel
Until I learn to forgive myself

And then the tears.... they never came
Thats when I knew

I was suffocating myself and was caught up
Then,
I started to draw energy from everything around me
from Friends who were in the same battle
from Family who lovingly supported
from Strangers who politely smiled
from Stories that begged to be read

All I did was to give up three things. Just three
It shut a thousand doors
It opened a new world of taste

I am me, just different
I am making small changes but taking giant strides